By Melisa Raney, with illustrations by Ian Berry. Melisa Raney is a freelance writer and editor who lives in Atlanta with her two children. The views expressed in this commentary are her own. CNN By the time you reach your 30s, you think you know yourself -- your likes, your dislikes, what inspires you, what makes you tick. Sign up for our new newsletter. Join us on Twitter and Facebook. More Videos
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I’m married with kids and just figured out I’m a lesbian
At 50, I was finally able to admit to myself that I was a lesbian. I have been married for over 25 years and have a daughter, My marriage has been a martyrdom, as I have no desire. I have always been attracted to women, but never had the courage to accept it. Then came the religious prohibitions that have caused distress to my sex life. Since adolescence, my first experiences with sex were with men, but they were never good.
Married to a Man for 23 Years and Now I think I’m a Lesbian
I was in a bar in Chicago when I told a close friend of 20 years that, despite being a lesbian, I was marrying a man. She laughed, dismissively. But no one had presumed to relabel me, to retrofit me to their categories — at least, not to my face.
But there's a male equivalent to this, and it's one I know all too well. I've fallen for more than my share of lesbians, including my second wife. Lots of people have "types" to which they are consistently attracted. From the time pubescent hormones started surging through my body, I found that I was particularly drawn to female jocks. It's not as if my attraction was limited to athletes alone; I was a horny teen boy who could be turned on by almost anything that moved.